Man’ners Monday: Ever wonder what to Dude?

by Mindy Lockard on February 13, 2011

Well, what do you know – it’s week two of Man’ners Monday.  And how appropriate that we’ll be talking about a few etiquettes for men on a day when they can really put them to the test: Valentine’s Day – a day synonymous with love, but most importantly synonymous with showing people how you care.

Hear are a few reminders that you can still be a dude with decorum.  With that in mind, here are a few tips just incase you’re wondering what you should “Dude”

Photo7_thumb Think ahead. One easy way to put this into action is to be aware, i.e. open your eyes, thus holding the door.  This manner isn’t gender specific—a door should get held for everyone. But for a guy, it’s a great way to communicate personal control and not arrogant haste.

Take pride in personal appearance. Although who you are on the inside is the most important, it can be misrepresented if the outside conveys that you don’t really care.  There are a couple of examples that some men have a tendency to forget. That’s right, men, I’m talking directly to you!

Men sometimes misplace their suit jackets. Never hang it on the back of your chair.  It’s called a “suit” for a reason, people. There are multiple pieces that go together. Pants, jacket, vest (if you’re a throwback from the ‘70’s).

Secondly, remove your hat while you’re indoors. If you don’t like your “do” with it off, then don’t plan to wear it. It’s tough talking to someone with the brim of their hat or bill of their ball cap in the way. The rule stems from history and the tradition of not wearing armor indoors. So, if you’re sportin’ your best breast plate and foil or simply have that Dodger’s cap pulled over your face, the rule is still the same. Out of respect, lose the hat.

Know the difference between confidence verses arrogance. Confidence is what attracts us to people.  When we see someone that is genuinely confident in themselves, we tend to have confidence in them, as well. For the most part, when we’re confident in something, we don’t feel the need to announce it or oversell it to others. Many times, quiet confidence speaks louder and comes off appearing stronger.

On the other hand, arrogance can be a mask worn by those feeling not quite confident enough. Close cousin to Ego, arrogance is bragging, and who enjoys listening to someone brag? I ask you. A dude with decorum knows all about his strength but doesn’t find pleasure or validation in announcing it. How much he has in the bank, what women he’s been with, or the level of education he has is truly beside the point. What people find intriguing is the depth of a man’s moral convictions. So be mindful of talking too much, offering unwanted advice, or sharing the specifics of business/finances. Try the less obvious approach: humility.

Understand the value of language. Keeping a well stocked vocabulary will help represent a dude’s intellect.  When conversation is peppered with slang and profanity—although at the time it may be funny—it isn’t the best representative of intelligence. To this day, the use of profanity still screams lack of education and self-control. Don’t assume that because someone is laughing at your crude language they’re impressed by it or you. Tame your tongue, guys, and dazzle with your character instead.

Make a stand—literally. It’s important in showing respect for self and for others. Stand for everyone when greeting or making an introduction.

Keep these “standing” rules in mind…

Stand when a woman enters the room
Stand for all introductions
Stand when a woman leaves the table
Stand when she returns

Standing is a simple sign of respect. Trust me, standing isn’t unconventional or uncomfortable. It’s being polite, and you will be able to sit back down… I promise.

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