Thank you to everyone who contributed to our facebook survey! Over the past two weeks we’ve been collecting answers as well as giving a few of our own.
- Accept or Ignore? When you receive a friend request do you feel comfortable ignoring them or accept them so as not to hurt their feelings?
- What makes you giggle and what makes you wiggle–regarding status updates, wall posts, and comments?
- May I? Do you ask permission when posting a photo of someone else? Why or Why not?
Accept or Ignore?
If you’re going to play the facebook game remember we all have different friendship styles and just because someone ignores your friendship doesn’t mean they don’t like you. There is usually a good reason such as they don’t remember you or they are limiting their friends. We can’t take the game of requesting friendship by the click of a button too seriously. To accept or ignore a Facebook friend is your prerogative…Now in the face-to-face world it is rude to ignore someone-unless you absolutely don’t remember them–just don’t confuse facebook with face-to-face!
Facebook Members Answers…
1. Facebook says people don’t see when you accept or ignore, so I take it at its word and I ignore people I don’t honestly remember.
2. I group into friend lists I’ve made called “close friends” or “distant friends” which have different levels of viewing permissions.
3. If I don’t recognize the person, I write them a message, asking, “Hi, I’m wondering how we know each other. Could you please remind me?”
4. If we’ve met or we’re connected through a social network, I accept the request. Otherwise, I deny it.
5. I feel comfortable ignoring the requests. I think the comfort has developed as a self-defense mechanism.
6. I typically go with the “Limited Profile” response.
7. I accept the request and go straight to the friends department and list the person under limited profile. You can decide how much the limited profile folks get to see.
8. I don’t hesitate to ignore someone I do not know
9. I think it is perfectly fine to not accept someone as a friend if one is using it to keep in touch with a certain few people but if they have on the upwards of 100+ friends, then I think it is rude, unless, the friend in question makes them uncomfortable.
10. I also feel if you accept a friend it is beyond rude to delete them without explanation.
11. I feel more than comfortable ignoring them!
12. I try to be as safe as possible on Facebook and I don’t need anyone that I don’t know looking at my profile!
13. I am generally accepting, unless it is someone that I have never really had a relationship with.
14. Some people seem to want to gather as many friends as they can so they have a huge number of friends
15. Typically, I simply accept the request; however, on occasion I do “reject”. Because facebook now allows all people to join, not just college students.
16. I try to confirm that I at least have met the person or have some other connection before I decide to be there friend.
17. I appreciate that I can see if we have friends in common and use the tool to decide where I might know the person from.
18. I don’t really understand why people who you’re barely acquainted with/aren’t very friendly with reach out in this way.
Giggle or Wiggle
It’s easy to forget how many people read your updates… be absolutely sure you want to broadcast what you are doing or thinking before you hit submit. On the flip side, have grace with someone who may have a lapse in judgment or spelling. Refrain from uninteresting posts such as “is awake” or “going to bed” if everyone posted these the news feed would become the snooze feed!
Facebook Members Answer…
- I think it is hilarious when people broadcast so much of their personal lives on facbeook, particularly through their status updates. Facebook seems to be another way for many people to get negative/positive attention.
- Nothing has ever offended me, but I’m pretty thick-skinned!
- It’s funny when folks post a small story about locking themselves out of the house or being buried in laundry and cheerios.
- “___ is sad.” or “_____ is awake!” statements…There is nothing to learn about that person except that they should create more excitement or interest in their own life and sharing less of it on Facebook.
- Sometimes I feel a little uncomfortable with the amount of “over sharing” that goes on in Facebook, especially if someone is going through an emotional crisis such as a breakup.
- I giggle with friends who share their funny experiences; I wiggle when people are exposing other people’s experiences, stories or what not.
- I like the humorous ones.
- I love when witty folks can get me laughing out loud because of their status. …and anything too personal belongs in the private sector.
- I like the silly status updates. Mine are usually tongue in cheek, as are many of my wall posts and comments. I do have quite a cross-over of friends and sometimes think “oh please so and so, don’t comment!” because sometimes they don’t think of who else may be reading.
- I also think it is the prerogative of the page’s owner to do whatever they see fit for their page i.e.: their own status updates, controlling comments etc.
- Any status that discusses a romantic relationship makes me laugh.
- Statuses that are just asking for people to ask questions and show concern are puzzling.
- I’m not going to lie… I love reading the wall posts between couples… they are so flirty and “romantic.” I just don’t understand why they want the whole world to see it!
- The only thing to really bother me so far, are things that are said that could have a sexual meaning. Especially when someone whom I perceive to be to young is saying them.
Do you ask permission before posting photos?
I actually had to learn this one the hard way. I posted a group picture from a girls’ get-away, nothing racy or unflattering. A non-facebooking friend was uncomfortable with the fact that random people were asking her about the trip. I assumed that because the picture was great of everyone no one would mind…famous last words. Manners are about going out of our way to extend respect. Will we make everyone happy all the time? No. However, when it comes to telling someone else’s story through a picture, it’s always respectful to have permission first…Even if the “story” is tame it’s better to error on the side of caution when our friendships are involved.
Facebook Members Answer
- I usually do not ask permission when tagging someone in a photo.
- If the photo contains questionable material, like alcohol, then I simply do not post the picture unless I know for sure they would want me to.
- So far I’ve only just posted images of immediate family, so no permissions have been necessary. However I do think this is a good idea.
- Maybe, I don’t post to many photos of people…I guess it would depend on the photo, and possibly my relationship to them.
- No I don’t… but I definitely don’t put pictures up that I know someone would find unflattering.
- It’s really not a bad idea.
- I have untagged a fair amount of pictures of myself so I just assume others can do the same.
- I do really try to be kind with the pictures that I put up.
- I have not done this yet, but this is a great reminder as I think one should ask permission.
- You know, I haven’t. But perhaps I should.
- I’m pretty discriminating about posting only flattering pics of others, so I typically think they will enjoy them. But they may like to approve first I suppose. …
- I have had the case where I asked a friend to remove a photo that showed my address in the background, and she quickly obliged. That was very courteous. …
- I think people should also be more cautious with pictures of children, and ask permission before putting up photos of other people’s kids
- I absolutely ask permission! Why? Everyone is entitled to their privacy, especially in the far-reaching and immediate world of the internet.
- There are all sorts of copyright implications with websites and I wouldn’t want to infringe on someone else’s rights (it’s hard enough to keep up with how these things effect my own!)
- I usually have a fairly good sense of which friends prefer more privacy and which friends “let it all hang out” based on the photos THEY post.
- I don’t ask for permission but I would certainly remove a photo if someone asked me to.
- I don’t ask permission.
- The fun of Facebook is seeing what people dredge up about you, and there are lots of ways to untag your name or remove yourself from search results on Facebook if you’re really embarrassed.
- I never, EVER tag children in Facebook, and I don’t upload photos of anyone’s kids unless they’re part of an adult group photo like a wedding. Kids have the rest of their lives to create their online identities, and they don’t need any help from us.