Q & A Wednesday: Netiquette of Facebook

by Mindy Lockard on March 4, 2009

woman typing on her computer

This week we are turning the tables for Q and A Wednesday–we are asking the questions and would love for you to provide the answers!  Manners and etiquette are the common threads that keep our interactions with one another civil and gracious.  Historically, much of this information has been recorded in large bound books detailing rules and solutions for every possible social encounter one might have.   However, the internet-social media in particular- provides a myriad of situations that have yet to be added to those pages. We’ve all encountered a time or two where we pause and wonder, is it a do…or taboo?!  

As a contemporary etiquette consultant it’s important for me to keep a pulse on what’s going on out there.  To ensure my measurment is accurate, I need to hear from you!  The topic at hand is related to one of the most popular social media sites,  facebook!  

Here’s how you can help:

  1. Copy the three questions
  2. Paste them in the comment box
  3. Answer each one in as few or many words as you’d like

You will not be judged or graded, I promise.  I will take your thoughts, combine them (keeping the contributors anonymous) and post the results next week!

Here are the facebook questions…

1. Accept or Ignore?  When you receive a friend request do you feel comfortable ignoring them or accept them so as not to hurt their feelings?  

2.  What makes you giggle and what makes you wiggleregarding status updates, wall posts, and comments?

3.  May I?  Do you ask permission when posting a photo of someone else?  Why or Why not?

4. Other

To my facebook friends, please know this post is for research and development purposes only, it is not a response to anything I have seen. I value your friendship and enjoy staying in-touch.

Thank you in advance for your help!

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Sarah Schwartz 03.04.09 at 7:20 am

1. Accept or Ignore? When you receive a friend request do you feel comfortable ignoring them or accept them so as not to hurt their feelings? I am grappling with this right now. I don’t really understand why people who you’re barely acquainted with/aren’t very friendly with reach out in this way. I am curious to see what you come up with!

2. What makes you giggle and what makes you wiggle-regarding status updates, wall posts, and comments? Nothing has ever offended me, but I’m pretty thick-skinned!

3. May I? Do you ask permission when posting a photo of someone else? Why or Why not? So far I’ve only just posted images of immediate family, so no permissions have been necessary. However I do think this is a good idea.

Kara Meeuwsen 03.04.09 at 9:38 am

1. Accept or Ignore? When you receive a friend request do you feel comfortable ignoring them or accept them so as not to hurt their feelings?
– Typically, I simply accept the request; however, on occasion I do “reject”. Because facebook now allows all people to join, no just college students, I try to confirm that I at least have met the person or have some other connection before I decide to be there friend. I appreciate that I can see if we have friends in common and use the tool to decide where I might know the person from.

2. What makes you giggle and what makes you wiggle-regarding status updates, wall posts, and comments?
– I think it is hilarious when people broadcast so much of their personal lives on facbeook, particularly through their status updates. Facebook seems to be another way for many people to get negative/positive attention.

3. May I? Do you ask permission when posting a photo of someone else? Why or Why not?
-I usually do not ask permission when tagging someone in a photo. If the photo contains questionable material, like alcohol, then I simply do not post the picture unless I know for sure they would want me to. I believe that people are becoming conscious of the reputation that they are displaying online and how it can have affect their future.

melissa 03.04.09 at 5:04 pm

Home
Meet Mindy
Bookshelf
Subscribe
Mindy’s Blog
Q & A Wednesday: Netiquette of Facebook
by admin on March 4, 2009

This week we are turning the tables for Q and A Wednesday–we are asking the questions and would love for you to provide the answers! Manners and etiquette are the common threads that keep our interactions with one another civil and gracious. Historically, much of this information has been recorded in large bound books detailing rules and solutions for every possible social encounter one might have. However, the internet-social media in particular- provides a myriad of situations that have yet to be added to those pages. We’ve all encountered a time or two where we pause and wonder, is it a do…or taboo?!

As a contemporary etiquette consultant it’s important for me to keep a pulse on what’s going on out there. To ensure my measurment is accurate, I need to hear from you! The topic at hand is related to one of the most popular social media sites, facebook!

Here’s how you can help:

Copy the three questions
Paste them in the comment box
Answer each one in as few or many words as you’d like
You will not be judged or graded, I promise. I will take your thoughts, combine them (keeping the contributors anonymous) and post the results next week!

Here are the facebook questions…

1. Accept or Ignore? When you receive a friend request do you feel comfortable ignoring them or accept them so as not to hurt their feelings?
I don’t do either! I just leave them on, I don’t think they can tell, unless I am wrong….which I very well could be. If they can tell….I guess I would have to have very strong feelings to ignore.
2. What makes you giggle and what makes you wiggle-regarding status updates, wall posts, and comments?
The only thing to really bother me so far, are things that are said that could have a sexual meaning. Especially when someone whom I perceive to be to young is saying them. It makes worry about when my girls get older. Sometimes these things might not be meant in that way at all, but sometimes I wonder???
3. May I? Do you ask permission when posting a photo of someone else? Why or Why not?
Maybe, I don’t post to many photos of people…I guess it would depend on the photo, and possibly my relationship to them.
4. Other

To my facebook friends, please know this post is for research and development purposes only, it is not a response to anything I have seen. I value your friendship and enjoy staying in-touch.

Thank you in advance for your help!

{ 0 comments… add one now }

Leave a Comment

Name *

E-mail *

Website

You can use these HTML tags and attributes:

Categories
About Mindy
Business
Calling Cards
Dining
Entertaining
Family Fun
Fashion
Office Etiquette
Public Speaking
Social Media
Blogroll
Join our facebook group
Manner of the Month
Mindy’s Home on the Web
We’re all a Twitter

Recent Comments
admin on A Twist on Family Friday
Cindy on A Twist on Family Friday
Angela on A Twist on Family Friday
Hollie on A Twist on Family Friday
Katie Heidrick on A Twist on Family Friday
Archives
March 2009
February 2009

Get smart with the Thesis WordPress Theme from DIY Themes.

WordPress Admin

Cary Richardson 03.04.09 at 8:03 pm

1. Accept or Ignore? I am generally accepting, unless it is someone that I have never really had a relationship with. Just because we went to the same college doesn’t mean we were ever friends. Some people seem to want to gather as many friends as they can so they have a huge number of friends (I know this cause I caught the FB fever for a bit 🙂 ) I do however accept anyone I went to high school with since our graduating class was only 45, and everyone did know each other. I have also since “weeded out” some of the “friends” that never really were.

Maryn 03.05.09 at 1:15 pm

1. Accept or Ignore? When you receive a friend request do you feel comfortable ignoring them or accept them so as not to hurt their feelings?
I feel more than comfortable ignoring them! I try to be as safe as possible on Facebook and I don’t need anyone that I don’t know looking at my profile!

2. What makes you giggle and what makes you wiggle-regarding status updates, wall posts, and comments?
Any status that discusses a romantic relationship makes me laugh. I also giggle at the statuses that are just asking for people to ask questions and show concern. I’m not going to lie… I love reading the wall posts between couples… they are so flirty and “romantic.” I just don’t understand why they want the whole world to see it!

3. May I? Do you ask permission when posting a photo of someone else? Why or Why not?
No I don’t… but I definitely don’t put pictures up that I know someone would find unflattering. However, that’s really not a bad idea. Of course, I have untagged a fair amount of pictures of myself so I just assume others can do the same. I do really try to be kind with the pictures that I put up, though!

Hollie 03.06.09 at 7:20 am

1. Accept or Ignore? When you receive a friend request do you feel comfortable ignoring them or accept them so as not to hurt their feelings?
I think it is perfectly fine to not accept someone as a friend if one is using it to keep in touch with a certain few people but if they have on the upwards of 100+ friends, then I think it is rude, unless, the friend in question makes them uncomfortable.
Buuutttt, I also feel if you accept a friend it is beyond rude to delete them without explanation.

2. What makes you giggle and what makes you wiggle-regarding status updates, wall posts, and comments?
I like the silly status updates. Mine are usually tongue in cheek, as are many of my wall posts and comments. I do have quite a cross-over of friends and sometimes think “oh please, so and so, don’t comment!” because sometimes they don’t think of who else may be reading.
I also think it is the prerogative of the page’s owner to do whatever they see fit for their page ie: their own status updates, controlling comments etc.

3. May I? Do you ask permission when posting a photo of someone else? Why or Why not? I have not done this yet, but this is a great reminder as I think one should ask permission!

4. Other

Kristen 03.06.09 at 2:52 pm

1. Accept or Ignore? When you receive a friend request do you feel comfortable ignoring them or accept them so as not to hurt their feelings? I typically go with the “Limited Profile” response. I accept the request and go straight to the friends department and list the person under limited profile. You can decide how much the limited profile folks get to see. I should say also, that I don’t hesitate to ignore someone I do not know.

2. What makes you giggle and what makes you wiggle-regarding status updates, wall posts, and comments? Hm…I like the humorous ones. I love when witty folks can get me laughing out loud because of their status. …and anything too personal belongs in the private sector.

3. May I? Do you ask permission when posting a photo of someone else? Why or Why not? You know, I haven’t. But perhaps I should. I’m pretty discriminating about posting only flattering pics of others, so I typically think they will enjoy them. But they may like to approve first I suppose. …I have had the case where I asked a friend to remove a photo that showed my address in the background, and she quickly obliged. That was very courteous. …I think people should also be more cautious with pictures of children, and ask permission before putting up photos of other people’s kids.

Alesia Zorn 03.07.09 at 12:00 pm

1. Accept or Ignore? When you receive a friend request do you feel comfortable ignoring them or accept them so as not to hurt their feelings?
I feel comfortable ignoring the requests. I think the comfort has developed as a self-defense mechanism.

2. What makes you giggle and what makes you wiggle-regarding status updates, wall posts, and comments?
I giggle with friends who share their funny experiences, I wiggle when people are exposing other people’s experiences, stories or what not, which brings me to…

3. May I? Do you ask permission when posting a photo of someone else? Why or Why not?
I absolutely ask permission! Why? Everyone is entitled to their privacy, especially in the far-reaching and immediate world of the internet. Also there are all sorts of copyright implications with websites and I wouldn’t want to infringe on someone else’s rights (it’s hard enough to keep up with how these things effect my own!)

4. Other
I would hope people understand that everyone heads to places like facebook for their own reasons. Sometimes it’s business, sometimes more personal but everyone’s reasons should be respected. Personally, I’m there more for business than for socializing so I ignore the requests to join groups or play games as I feel it clutters my page. Somehow I’ve gathered over 100 “friends” which has inspired me to think about and define my definition of friend vs. acquaintance or business associate.

Angela Seits 03.07.09 at 6:47 pm

1. Accept or Ignore? When you receive a friend request do you feel comfortable ignoring them or accept them so as not to hurt their feelings?
Answer: If I don’t recognize the person, I write them a message, asking, “Hi, I’m wondering how we know each other. Could you please remind me?” If we’ve met or we’re connected through a social network, I accept the request. Otherwise, I deny it.

2. What makes you giggle and what makes you wiggle-regarding status updates, wall posts, and comments?
Answer: Sometimes I feel a little uncomfortable with the amount of “oversharing” that goes on in Facebook, especially if someone is going through an emotional crisis such as a breakup.

3. May I? Do you ask permission when posting a photo of someone else? Why or Why not?
Answer: I usually have a fairly good sense of which friends prefer more privacy and which friends “let it all hang out” based on the photos THEY post. I don’t ask for permission but I would certainly remove a photo if someone asked me to.

Isaac 03.07.09 at 10:32 pm

1. Accept or Ignore?
Facebook says people don’t see when you accept or ignore, so I take it at its word and I ignore people I don’t honestly remember. Other people I group into friend lists I’ve made called “close friends” or “distant friends” which have different levels of viewing permissions. They don’t all need to see my kids naked in the tub.

2. What makes you giggle and what makes you wiggle-regarding status updates, wall posts, and comments?
It’s funny when folks post a small story about locking themselves out of the house or being buried in laundry and cheerios. I tend to say “WTF” at the “___ is sad.” or “_____ is awake!” statements. There is nothing to learn about that person except that they should create more excitement or interest in their own life and sharing less of it on Facebook.

3. May I? Do you ask permission when posting a photo of someone else? Why or Why not?
I don’t ask permission. The fun of Facebook is seeing what people dredge up about you, and there are lots of ways to untag your name or remove yourself from search results on Facebook if you’re really embarrassed. If you were drunk once at a party, you should own that. That said, I never, EVER tag children in Facebook, and I don’t upload photos of anyone’s kids unless they’re part of an adult group photo like a wedding. Kids have the rest of their lives to create their online identities, and they don’t need any help from us.

4. Other
This is a big experiment we’re all knee-deep in — and we have yet to discover what the real implications of all this online social sharing will be. It’s too soon to say what is too much, or too little, or worthwhile or worthless. One thing for sure – people are hooked on social media. There’s all kinds of risk if you play, but can you resist it?

Leave a Comment

You can use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

Previous post:

Next post: