Q & A Wednesday: The invite says wear a costume…

by Mindy Lockard on June 3, 2009

Question: The invite reads wear a costume and I’m not comfortable dressing-up. Must I?

Answer: Anytime we receive an invite it’s best to be gracious and abide by the requests made of the host or hostess no matter how we feel about the details listed on an invitation such as:  no gifts, the time, who is invited on the envelope and attire (even wearing a costume). When we choose to R.s.v.p ‘Yes’ we agree to attend with our manners and in the manner the host or hostess has requested!  Why?  Because manners aren’t necessarily about us and sometimes they require us denying our own feelings for the sake of others – like those of our host or hostess. Trust me, when I tell Ty that we’ve received an invite to a costume party I need a chair and an epi pen. 


Recently, we were invited to a 80s prom where the attire was dress in your best 80’s prom threads.  If you’ve ever attended a costume event with the Lockards, you know we are dress-up challenged.  For example, the time we ended up at a Halloween party dressed-up as Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf “Man”…creepy.  Unfortunately, our performance at last weekend’s event was anything but 80’s radical.  With our attempts to go understated 80’s, Ty ended up in ’78 wearing a pair of pants that didn’t allow him to sit down and I needed a one way ticket to the Greek isles circa 300 B.C.!  Not only did we entirly miss the decade, I polished the evening off with a good-bye to the hostess that included, “We need to go home and get Ty out of his pants.” So not what I meant. 

Stay tuned for the post on gracefully removing a dyeable pump from one’s mouth…

What items on an invite do you struggle with?

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Elissa 06.03.09 at 11:22 am

I struggle with invitations that detail out exactly what each guest is expected to bring. I don’t feel like that’s a party, it’s a potluck. I just wish hosts would call it what it is. A party should be a treat for guests. If you can’t afford to throw parties with food and drink (and trust me, we’ve been there), you just have to throw fewer parties. Or be creative. Ask people to meet at a park for an evening picnic (each with their own picnic basket). Or, as we sometimes do, have a breakfast birthday party. You can supply bottomless doughnuts and coffee on a tight budget! Or, if it’s just time that’s an issue (who isn’t busy with kids?) ask your friends to swing by on their way to the party and pick up something you’ve ordered (and paid for), most are happy to help you out in that way!

admin 06.03.09 at 12:25 pm

Elissa, you bring up a great point and some very helpful ideas. I think we all would love to be able to throw over the top parties. However, when our ideas exceed our means (time and money) we need to reevaluate and not depend on the means of our guests. I love your bottomless doughnut idea…who isn’t nuts for doughnuts? Thanks for this friendly reminder!

CM 06.03.09 at 1:57 pm

I have a recent “invite issue” that I’d like help with. We sometimes host a little afternoon get together for 4-8 guests. I prepare appetizers and a light dessert, and we serve specialty cocktails, wine and beer. We typically indicate the time as 3-5 p.m.

Sometimes, certain friends will call (usually no more than 2 hours before the start time) and ask if we mind if they bring meat or something for the grill, and ask us to “fire up the grill”. We always oblige, since it would be rude to say no when the grill is close by.

How can we tactfully avoid this situation, or let guests know we won’t be grilling for the afternoon? Honestly, if I wanted to grill, I would serve a proper dinner at 6 or 7. = )

Feel free to email me your ideas!

admin 06.03.09 at 3:13 pm

Greetings, Ms Munn,

Thank you for stopping by! I’ll whip up some thoughts and send them your way.

Thanks, Mindy

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