Q&A Wednesday: What makes a gentleman?

by Mindy Lockard on April 28, 2009

Last week I was interviewed by Lisa Bruckner, a Trunk Club consultant, about the makings of a gentleman.  A few of the tips we discussed.

A Modern Gentleman…

  1. knows the difference in confidence and arrogance.


  2. is mindful of technology and doesn’t insult the intelligence of the people sitting with him by trying to hide the fact that he’s checking e-mail and text under the table. He knows it can wait!
  3. shows respect equally. For example he holds the door open for others, and understands it’s okay to let others go ahead of him.
  4. knows that making eye-contact with everyone is the foundation of showing respect.
  5. keeps his suit jacket on. A true gentleman is willing to be a little uncomfortable for the sake of a respectably, polished appearance. When sitting down unbutton the bottom buttons for comfort.

Later that evening as I was getting ready for a night at the Symphony with Ty, I still had chivalry on my mind…

Me:  I’m thinking you should pick me up for our date.
Ty:  Do you want me to drive around the block?
Me:  Sure.
Ty: How about I go out the side door and knock on the front door.
Me: It’s a start.

Just then Ty’s dad (our sitter for the evening) arrived at the front door. The expression on Ty’s face told me he wasn’t about to “pretend” to pick me up infront of his father. I returned a disappointed expression that was one eye-bat short of appearing to have something in my eye – after 11 years of marriage it’s amazing how much communication can take place with facial expressions.

Feeling a bit let down I decided to return to my room to finish getting ready when the doorbell rang…

Me: Maggie, Will you please get the door?
Maggie: Oh, hi Daddy?

My heart actually skipped a beat.

Ty: Hello, I’m here to pick-up Mindy Lockard.
Maggie: Giggling… You are?! Mommy, Daddy is here to pick you up.

Just then Elle, who had been engrossed in a movie, popped up from the sofa…

Elle: Dad what are you doing?
Ty: I’m picking up Mommy for our date!
Elle: Really?! 

This act of chivalry was not only entertaining for our daughters it was a simple reminder of how the little things make a difference. Our evening at the Symphony was the best night-out we’ve had in a long time and it all started with a sweet gesture from a modern day gentleman!

Tell us what you think makes a modern gentleman.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Katy S 04.29.09 at 12:04 am

That is too cute! What a sweet hubby you have! I haven’t met a modern day gentlman in a long time…at least not any single ones. Do they still exsist? ;0)

Emee 04.29.09 at 8:11 am

Oh my goodness! What a darling story! You go Mindy!

Scott 04.29.09 at 2:03 pm

I just want to send a little praise for the great work you do with your blog! I’m sure plenty of women (and probably some men) are grateful for a resource like you! 🙂

As a single gentleman myself the key for us is always respecting women and for who they are. Nothing is more fragile than a woman’s self-esteem and that’s an area where I think fellow gentleman overlook way too much. Most of the time I believe a majority of us gentlemen live too much in this “game-time mindset” where we believe interacting with women means “scoring” a one-night-stands with as many women—blond, brunette, etc—as possible. From that, women feel like they’re just seen as a pleasure doll. From a male’s perspective, it’s wrong.

Also, for men like myself, It’s not what a woman wears or looks like, it’s all about personality. I think as a society we put too much pressure on women to act and look a certain “ideal” way. I mean, what ideal way? Just something for women to stress about and for men to fantasize over? To me, chivalry is not dead: it’s just us gentlemen don’t show it enough towards women.

That is why I have also written a blog piece entitled “Every Woman is Beautiful” on my ExitPDX blog which I recommend most women to check out to learn more of my perspective on how every woman is beautiful no matter what society prescribes. The link is http://exitpdx.wordpress.com/2009/02/.

Again, Mindy great work and I’m proud to say it’s a pleasure to have gotten to know you! 🙂

Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/scott_bryant

Gigi Belmonico 04.30.09 at 3:30 pm

Oh Mindy what a wonderful article on male chivalry! How wonderful of your husband to do something that absolutely made your heart sing! I have two sons in college now, and I encouraged them in the “gentlemanly arts” throughout their childhood. They are fine young men and I am extremely proud of both of them for so many things, but one of my biggest joys is watching them get to a door quickly to open it for an elder (or me!) I get lots of compliments from friends and strangers alike about my sons and their awesome manners. I love that!! It definitely makes a Mother’s heart sing for sure. Thank you again Mindy. You are a delight! All the best, Gigi Belmonico

Marialexandra 12.04.09 at 6:13 pm

What a beautiful post Mindy! It brought a smile to my face.. how romantic and thoughtful. Its the little things that make the biggest impacts in our lives.
Thank you for sharing 🙂 And thanks for the tips as well

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